Writing your own Wedding Vows in New Zealand
For most, writing your own wedding vows can be a daunting thought. You know what you feel in your heart but putting it into words, well that can be difficult. Your vows are an opportunity to truly express your love in a way we rarely do in everyday life. It’s something you can write down and can enjoy again later in life.
Here are a few points to consider when writing your vows;
1. Not all religious ceremonies allow you to express your personal vows. The Dream Maker encourages you to say your own vows, over and above the legally requirements.
2. The Dream Maker Celebrant services doesn’t offer any specific religious expression but I am open to any added religious song, prayer or reading if that is what you desire. You can also have a friend or family member to offer a blessing.
3. It is you, as a couple and your personal decision if you would like to write your vows together or separately. There are no rules. They can be whispered, spoken in your own tongue or even as a song or poem.
4. If either couple has trouble putting their feelings on paper they might like to ask their best man or maid of honour or a friend to help.
5. If writing isn’t you're thing use a Dictaphone or your phone to record what you want to say, then type it out in a way that can be easily read out loud.
6. I advise you to start with writing down 10 things you love about the person you are committing yourself too and then build the eloquent words around those points.
7. Worrying doesn’t solve anything. Make a cup of tea, or have a glass of your favorite dabble and schedule some time to brain storm or just for “me” time to sit and think about the commitment you are going to make, write down what they are and why they are important to express at this once in a life time opportunity..
8. Some people chose to say a poem, you can be creative. Maybe even get someone to write the poem or song for you? Or even use the words of a song you love which expresses exactly what you’re trying to say?
9. Chose a style, these can be found on google if you look and may inspire you? Think about who you are, are you romantic, a sentimentalist, comedian, is that appropriate for the occasion. Most things are if its truly you.
10. You want to really get a good balance of who you are and what you want your partner to feel as you speak those words to them. Love, Light humor, romance, appreciation is quay.
11. Remember there are no rules so it can be a long or short as you like, however don’t overdo it and spoil the message you are trying to convey.
12. Once you have started to write the vows, don’t be scared to find a quiet spot and practice them but don’t overdo it and lose the emotion of the moment.
13. I remind all my couples, when they speak their vows in front of their guests, to remember, your words are to each other, tears, pauses, laughs and silly moments are all allowed and enjoyed but it’s always the couples moment and to block everyone else out.
14. Once your vows are written send them to the Dream Maker to look after, so you don’t procrastinate. I will also laminate them and bring them to the ceremony; this gives you one less thing to worry about on the day and saves panic attack on losing them or them blowing away in the wind.
They can be emotional
They can be funny
For further help and advise on your ceremony please contact Terri Everett, New Zealand's Award Winning Celebrant and Destination Event Manager.
First two photos taken by Anthony Turner and woodland photo taken by Sandra Johnson.